“Ugh, they do the same sketches every week.  They’re nothing more than a string of catch phrases . . . yeah, that’s the ticket.” – Jay Sherman

This is rich:

Not only is CNN treating an SNL sketch as news, it’s doing so on Tuesday morning.  Not Sunday, after it was broadcast, or Monday when everyone’s getting back to work.  Tuesday.  There are also stories about old sitcoms, weird snakes, and a famous singer who gained some weight (seriously), but I don’t think any of those top being several days behind on an SNL skit that wasn’t news in the first place.

Tucker & Friends may be nothing but junior varsity partisan hacks, but they are loyal.  Today they’ve dug up opposition research on Obama that would have been used against him in his 2004 Senate campaign if the investment banker who paid for all of it hadn’t gotten messily divorced from his actress wife after taking her to “sex clubs” and still thought he could run for office:

One man’s playbook for defeating state Sen. Barack Obama

There is, obviously, very little of interest here.  But you’ve got to admire the tenacity that leads them to play the very long odds that a guy who was a completely incompetent politician might be sitting on some nugget of decade old information that has somehow never come to light before and could change the race for president here in 2012.  It takes real dedication to think that’s worth doing, even if someone else is paying you to do it.

I don’t think this one is going to win the morning:

President Obama’s audacity-free campaign

Opening paragraph:

Barack Obama, reconciling the contradictory realities of Mitt Romney’s hard fall with a race that remains stubbornly inside the margin of error, is running as the kind of careful, poll-watching politician he disdained the first time he ran for president, according to Democratic and Republican observers.

Only the deep fucking thinkers at America’s Thinnest Newspaper could consider a bunch of blind quotes from nobodies about something as nebulous as the tone of a campaign to be news.  And this isn’t buried down page somewhere, it’s their lead story.  Morning lost. 

The nationalists could use a dictionary, methinks:

It’s a campaign rally, not the KGB high command.  You didn’t infiltrate anything, you drove somewhere, parked, got out and walked around.  There was probably even food.