Archive for the ‘All the Duke’s Men’ Tag

Reading Digest – 9 November 2012   Leave a comment

“Welcome to Decision ’96, it’s eighteen months till the election and tonight we’ll focus on the Vice-Presidential candidates.  Since this is so boring and pointless, we will periodically be inserting clips from Baywatch.” – Political Reporter
“Help, help!  An octopus stole my bikini top!” – Hot Blonde
“I’ll get it.  But first I better put on my octopus repellent.  Ooh, oh yeah, that’s good octopus repellent.” – Not David Hasselhoff

CNNlogo Most people greet presidential elections with relief.  To all but a tiny, gossip obsessed minority the campaigns and their attendant horseshit are aggravating and frustrating, and seeing the end of them is all to the good.  CNN, of course, is run by some of the dimmer lights of that tiny minority, and has this:

2016 Aztec Apocalypse

As profoundly embarrassing as this should be for them, they double down with the subhead:

Analysis: The 2012 election just ended, but the 2016 campaign for the White House is underway.

First of all, that isn’t “Analysis”, that’s product positioning.  Second, no the 2016 campaign is not underway.  Not even close.  The only thing that’s underway are wanna-be insiders one upping each other with pointless, uninformed speculation.  But that never ceases. 

PoliticoLogo See?  Never:

Hillary Is Already Looking to the General

Put down the crack pipe, Politico.  We’re all worried about you.

FNLogo FOX has been on Bias Alert every day since well before the election.  But as any competent naval commander will tell you, readiness goes down if you leave the men at general quarters too long, which appears to be what’s happened this morning:

Damned Entertainment Reporters

The “Reuters Journo” in question is, drum roll please, an entertainment reporter who just became a citizen and committed the heinous crime of voting for the first time on Tuesday.  Of course, none of that stopped the twitchy paranoiacs at the Bias Alert CIC quoting from the Reuters handbook to try and damn her:

Reuters journalists should be mindful of the impact their publicly expressed opinions can have on their work and on Reuters.

What they fail to mention is that her Twitter page, to which the FOX article contains a broken link, says this right at the top:

Surrey girl, Warwick Uni/USC alum. All views my own, RTs not endorsements. Also tweeting @ReutersShowbiz

It specifically notes that these aren’t the views of Reuters, and since she’s not a political reporter, it’s difficult to think how tweeting about her first vote as a U.S. citizen for Obama impacts her work. 

To review: A reporter who doesn’t cover politics used her personal Twitter account, which specifically says that it doesn’t reflect the views of Reuters, to talk about the first time she voted.  Might be time to stand down from Bias Alert before someone starts taking inventory on the strawberries. 

Posted November 9, 2012 by Charlie Sweatpants in Reading Digest, The Critic

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Reading Digest – 3 October 2012   Leave a comment

“If you interfere, I’ll release this tape.” – Bob Dole
“Pretty kitty calico, you know that I love you so, with your fur so soft and fair . . .” – Duke Phillips

DailyCallerLogo About half of the right wing media is flogging a story about an Obama video from 2007 in which he says that the Katrina response was botched in part because of institutional racism (which is hardly news to anyone even remotely familiar with the immediate and long term responses) and talks about winger bogyman Jeremiah Wright (a year before his tempest in a teapot remarks came to light):


For proof of just how lame this story really is, FOX is all over it . . .

FNLogo . . . both at the mothership . . .:

Video Shows Obama Suggesting Neglect of New Orleans Was Racial

FoxNationLogo . . . and down at the nationalist fever swamp:

Daily Caller Uncovers Stunning New Obama Tape

But that’s it.  It’s not at the Weekly Standard, National Review or Wall Street Journal.  In other words, they released a tape that’s five years old (and has already been reported in the news) the night before the first debate, which is what every one of those worthless lamestream pundits, including many conservatives, will be yammering about this time tomorrow.  I don’t know when the wingers got this bad at bullying around the media, but it is fun to watch them flail

CNNlogo Meanwhile, in more incompetent but less ideological outlets, the top story is the one that will be all over the place today and tomorrow, the debate:

5 things to watch in tonight’s debate

Of which the stupidest is probably:

5. Taking the zing out of zingers

Well, that would just leave “ers”, wouldn’t it? 

PoliticoLogo The official village gossip rag has the same story and five different but equally stupid questions:

Colorado presidential debate: 5 things to watch

Of which the stupidest is probably:

5. Is Obama ready for prime-time?

It seems like a crazy question to ask about a man who has governed the country during one of its most tumultuous recent periods — and a guy who speaks in public nearly as much as he speaks in private. But the truth is Obama is really, really rusty when it comes to debating.

This implies that they think the task of debating Rick Perry, Herman Cain and Michelle Bachmann was like some kind of Rocky-esque training montage when cardboard cutouts might have been more challenging opposition. 

Posted October 3, 2012 by Charlie Sweatpants in Reading Digest, The Critic

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Reading Digest – 4 September 2012   Leave a comment

“Welcome to the United Nations school eighth grade election.  Our candidates are, Martin Sherman, Zoltan Veramirovich . . .” – Principal Mangosuthu
“Hello.” – Zoltan Veramirovich
“. . . and Michael Dukakis.” – Principal Mangosuthu
“I thought I would start small, with an election I could win.” – Michael Dukakis
“Boo!” – Eighth Graders

DailyCallerLogo As usual, Carlson’s house of wingnut welfare delivers the pure, uncut stuff.  Today’s lead:

Tucker's Tank

That is quality trolling right there.

RedStateLogo Whereas this is just second rate:

Erik's Failed Troll Attempt C’mon, Red State, you can’t lead with an incoherent headline and two Blues who not only won, but are both still nationally popular!  You didn’t have a picture of John Kerry sitting around somewhere?  Tucker & Friends did much better. 

PoliticoLogo This is the busy season for Washington’s preeminent gossip rag, but they will always make time for worthless, irrelevant click-whoring:

Let the 2016 speculation begin


FoxNationLogo This certainly isn’t the sort of headline you expect from the nationalists:

Time for Workers to Take Back Labor Day

Not to worry, though, the article is what you’d expect:

This Labor Day, you won’t see union bosses acknowledging the fact that they force workers into arrangements made by other people decades earlier.

Isn’t Labor Day itself an arrangement made by other people decades earlier?  I’m pretty sure it is, just as I’m pretty sure that acknowledging that is something unions do with that whole, “folks who brought you the weekend” thing.

Posted September 4, 2012 by Charlie Sweatpants in Reading Digest, The Critic

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