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Reading Digest – 29 August 2012   Leave a comment

“I think I’ll go fill up on bisque at the buffet.” – Amy Wong

USATodaylogo You can always count on them to let you know that everything is just fine:

Drinking, overeating pack on pounds in college:

Kendra Birtcher gained 15 pounds during her first semester at Arizona State University.

One presumes that “Drinking, overeating” would pack on pounds off campus as well, but this story does not appear to be part of a larger investigation, so I guess we’ll never know.

CNNlogo Sigh:

CNN Featured (Again)

Today’s “Featured” stories on CNN include campaign platitudes (one from each side, naturally), video of a fist fight, video of one of the countless thousands of kids who get caught smoking weed every day, and video of a car crash that’s been a featured story since Monday.  Oh, and “ premiers song on Mars” just means that NASA played a song at a press conference.  The stories below those are even worse, with video of a woman sleeping on a train, a koala, “America’s hottest restaurants”, and a quick check on the starlet police blotter. 

FoxNationLogo As expected, the nationalists are all atwitter over the Red conclave in Florida, which apparently excuses them from mixing up their former Confederate states:

Biden Florida-NorthCarolina In case you can’t see it, the Hooters sign in the picture says, “Hey Joe Welcome to North Carolina” while the headline says “Hooters Welcomes Joe Biden to Florida”.  Close enough.  This one’s also pretty good:

Seal Bowing

This is a nice double whammy, not only has the ad not even started airing yet, but it’s also laughably false.  Presidential history is not, presumably, covered in SEAL training.  

DailyCallerLogo Carlson and company know how to lick the hand that feeds them:

Mia Love Covers Both Sides

In the upper right you can see a “news” item “Convention speech highlights Mia Love’s GOP rise” with the subheading:

Utah congressional candidate takes national stage: ‘Let me tell you about the America I know’

In the lower left, under the “Opinion” heading, we have “The America I know” by Mia Love.  Well done, Tucker & Friends. 

NPRlogo Back to the tote bag with this one:

Condo Crisis

There’s a hot mess national and international news these days, and NPR devotes nine minutes of its sixty minute flagship show to the downtown Miami real estate market.  Of course they do. 

aljazeeralogo1 Foreigners ask:

Ignored War

The Afghan War is a non-issue because it’s boring and depressing, and we don’t like either of those things.  Thank you for asking.  Now, if you’ll excuse us, we’ve got a lot of jokes to make about how fat Chris Christie is.

Posted August 29, 2012 by Charlie Sweatpants in Futurama, Reading Digest

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