Commercial Break: Mitsubishi Takes Pretentious Stand Against Pretentiousness   Leave a comment

Broadcast: 13 November 2012
Program: Twilight
Channel: FX
Conglomerates: News Corporation

Advertiser: Mitsubishi Motors
Owned By: Mitsubishi
Pitch: Watch us prove our blue collar credentials by wasting champagne in the desert.

Car commercials tend toward the boring.  They have their amusingly cliched absurdities (cars in car commercials are never stuck in traffic and only drive in picturesque settings), but for the most part it’s just a shiny new car driving in front of the camera while some boring narrator drones on about lease agreements or the like. 

(Please note that these are different from pickup truck commercials, which are marketed with penile insecurity so relentlessly that they often achieve a kind of lunatic charm.) 

This commercial for a Mitsubishi station wagon manages to stand out from the pack solely for the radical disconnect between what it’s saying and what it’s showing.  As we see the car dash through a pan flat desert, the typically dull narration says:

Great design doesn’t have to be stodgy or snooty.  It should be inclusive, no exclusive.  That’s why Mitsubishi redesigned the 2013 Outlander Sport.  Lease one now for as low as two-hundred-nineteen dollars a month for thirty six months and help end pretentiousness.  Great design is now design for all.

Hell of a Commute

The Coach Humungus really needs to find another place for soccer practice.

The pitch of the narration is that this is a car for everyone (“inclusive”, not “stodgy or snooty”), but right as he’s saying that, we see a butler in white gloves pouring a champagne pyramid in the middle of the fucking desert:

Jeeves of the Salt Flats

One presumes that he is not pouring one out for the homies who couldn’t be here.

There are a lot of ways to describe that image, but none of them accord with the idea of helping to “end pretentiousness”.  In fact, doing something like this is the very epitome of pretentiousness, which is why it’s inadvertently amusing that the commercial goes to slow motion to linger over this new Mitsubishi for the people wasting all that perfectly good booze and glassware:

Take That, Uh, Somebody!

Guys Who Thought This Up: Rich Maniac Assholes

Nor is this the only thing they decided to smash for no reason.  They also crashed the car into a chandelier because they didn’t want to seem snooty, or something:

Oh Hai Desert Chandelier

What is holding you up?

You know who destroys nice things just because they can?  Rich, pretentious fuckheads, that’s who.  Eat a dick, Mitsubishi. 

Posted November 19, 2012 by Charlie Sweatpants in Commercial Break

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