“Oh no, an election? That’s one of those deals where they close the bars, isn’t it?” – Barney Gumble
“Sorry, Barney.” – Moe
Ah, there isn’t anything quite like election morning, when there’s nothing left to say and powerful news apparatuses grind to a halt with banalities they could’ve written months ago:
ROMNEY OR OBAMA? VOTERS TO RENDER VERDICT
After months of intense — and often negative — campaigning between President Barack Obama and former Massachusetts Gov. Mitt Romney, voters headed to the polls across the country Tuesday to render their verdict.
Not that the Tiffany Network has anything better:
After final push, Election Day here
Obama, Romney prepare to watch returns roll in as voters head to polls; both sides project confidence
And this is just as vapid in print or on the screen:
State by State, Battle for the Presidency Goes to Voters
Clues to Tuesday’s outcome may come early, but the night could be long. Here, a guide to know who is up, who is down and if court challenges and recounts could be in the works.
Shorter Paywalled Lady: “may”, “could be”, and “if”. Thanks, fellas.
The tote bag crowd goes with yesterday’s news to try and gin up something worth talking about this AM:
On Election Eve, Obama And Romney Try Blazing A Path To 270
On the final day of the 2012 campaign, President Obama and Mitt Romney are making a last push in states that could be critical to victory. Obama was scheduled to campaign in three swing states, while Romney had events planned in four. The only overlap was in Ohio, considered the linchpin of the election.
So the incumbent and the challenger spent the last day of the campaign . . . campaigning? Ugh.
Ah, here we go:
That’s some nice projection, right there, valiant Mittens “Battles On” whilst that dastardly Obama “Goes Home”. Even on a newsless morning, FOX comes through. They’re the best.
While the adults have to be at least a little sly about putting their Romney boosterism in the headline, at the kids table they just say what they know you want to hear:
The story reads like a particularly spoiled seven-year-old expectantly listing the pony, Playstation, XBox, rocket car, and jet pack he’s going to get for his birthday tomorrow:
If the Romney campaign’s internal numbers are correct – and nearly all independent pollsters have come up with a picture much more favourable for Obama – then the former Massachusetts governor will almost certainly be elected 45th U.S. President.
You can tell they really wanted that last part in there.
Carlson’s House of Wingnut Welfare has something to help you pass the time until the results start coming in:
That’s in addition to a story about college admissions run with a picture of cheerleaders and a story about hurricane relief efforts with an image of Victoria’s Secret models. If the Omegas from Animal House ran a website, the Daily Caller is what it would look like.
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