It’s a Great Day For America, Everybody!   1 comment

Minute-by-minute update resources: NYTimes, Google

BREAKING: Some podunk New Hampshire town has split its votes evenly for president, five to five, in the first time in its history.  Obviously this is good news for John McCain.

The best news feed to watch is, of course, Al Jazeera.  Network coverage by NBC and CBS will probably have the highest “factual news to absurd punditry” ratio.  Fox’ll be good for schadenfreude at some point.  CNN is right out, unless you want to see Wolf Blitzer strapped into the mechanical suit from Aliens interviewing a hologram of what Obama and Romney’s baby would look like.

Funny stuff to read to stay sane: Wonkette, the twitter feeds of Jim Newell, Alex Pareene, and when you just have to have a snarky joke about Republicans, LOLGOP

Of course whatever else you do you should read everything Charlie Pierce ends up posting today.

What to watch for as the night progresses:

– New Hampshire will have its votes in fairly quickly and will be an important indicator.  If Obama wins New Hampshire and any other Eastern time zone swing state, it’s over; if he wins NH and Iowa, Wisconsin and Colorado, it’s over, even if Romney dominates the rest of the Eastern states like Hank Scorpio.

– IF Romney doesn’t get Virginia, THEN he has to pick off New Hampshire, Florida, Ohio, Colorado,  AND at least one other state, which he ain’t gon’ do.  So pour a non-alcoholic, non-caffienated, lukewarm-at-the-hottest beveridge to the curb for the hopes of a fallen Mormon if he doesn’t win Virginia.  And pop the champagne for everyone else.

Virginia being “close” and the networks taking their sweet time to declare a winner there is a better sign for Obama than Romney, since Obama has larger leads in states like Ohio and Colorado; a “close” Virginia probably means a win for him in those later states.

– If Romney takes Florida, Virginia and New Hampshire, it’s gonna be a long night.  Then Obama has to take at least one of Iowa, Wisconsin or Colorado in order for the election to come down to Ohio.

Other things to watch besides the Presidential election:

The Senate and House results aren’t supposed to be in danger of flipping control of either chamber to a different party.  If the news coverage starts yipping excitedly about a Senate race, it’ll probably be a big deal.  There are also a bunch of state level proposals folks’ll be votin’ on that are fairly important.  Among them are

Outlawing the death penalty in California (there are currently 733 people on death row in California, more than any other state)

Washington continuing and Michigan adopting the same insane requirement that any tax increase requires a 2/3 majority in both houses of the state legislature which has turned California into the paragon of responsible government it is world-renowned for

Colorado, Oregon and Washington all have proposals limiting marijuana prohibition to varying degrees

Michigan putting the right to collectively bargain in its state constitution

Michigan also has a measure to determine “financial criteria” allowing the governor to appoint an “emergency manager” that can override the decisions of towns and school districts and rejigger contracts if finances are “found to be in emergency condition”.  In a sign that God cares about the upkeep of Her creation, it looks like this proposal is going down.

It’s great that these are put in front of voters, but the process to get them on the ballot is yet another indication that voting is the most useless and feeble political action.

Finally, a word on the clucking that’ll be on the networks.  At some point there will be talk of a “mandate”, the notion that the size of a politician’s victory has an effect on her ability to govern.  Don’t listen to it.  Even besides the fact that Obama’s vote total will be depressed by the hurricane, the concept just doesn’t have any validity to it.  As James Carville so eloquently put it, the only politician with a mandate is Jim McGreevey.  Legislators aren’t swayed by that stuff in tranquil times, and with the House continuing to be a herding pen for mad cow disease, that is not likely to change in Obama’s second term.

Any discussion of long lines to vote in Florida and Ohio without the next clause in the sentence being “which were explicitly engineered by the Republican governors and state legislatures who control those processes to depress Democratic vote totals” is not a serious discussion among adults.  Which will be all of those discussions.  The NBC folks might mention it, though.

And, most importantly: Grape or Grain, but ne’er the Twain; Vine with Corn, Beware the Morn.

Go vote and have fun, see you on the other side.

Posted November 6, 2012 by Ben in Uncategorized

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One response to “It’s a Great Day For America, Everybody!

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  1. “CNN is right out, unless you want to see Wolf Blitzer strapped into the mechanical suit from Aliens interviewing a hologram of what Obama and Romney’s baby would look like.”

    Oh god, don’t give them any ideas.

    Charlie Sweatpants

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