Reading Digest – 31 October 2012   Leave a comment

“There’s some candy right here, sir.  Why don’t we eat this instead of stealing?” – Mr. Smithers
“Oh, very well.” – C.M. Burns

FNLogo Thankfully, supplies of wingnut butthurt were unaffected by the storm:

Storms Are Part of God's Plan

It’s a video where two white dudes talk about how “Some in Media” have had the temerity to mention that Romney has said he’d gut the federal agencies tasked with hurricane tracking and response, and two different opinion pieces about how wretched the New York Times was to dare continue covering the presidential race while it was raining.  One suspects that anything short of an editorial extolling the virtues of supply side disaster recovery would’ve earned equal opprobrium. 

FoxNationLogo The nationalists are on the same trail this morning, but they’re hunting bigger game:

Forward Is a Dirty Word

The details are even more amusing in terms of oversensitive paranoia:

President Obama may have suspended his campaign rallies due to Hurricane Sandy, but he managed to squeeze in his campaign slogan — intentionally or not — during a briefing Tuesday with federal emergency officials.

"The president made clear that he expects his team to remain focused as the immediate impacts of Hurricane Sandy continue and lean forward in their response," the White House said in a statement about Mr. Obama’s video-teleconference that he conducted from the White House Situation Room. "Forward" is the slogan of his re-election campaign.

First of all, Obama didn’t “suspend” anything, you’re getting him confused with McCain ’08.  He just stepped off the campaign trail to, you know, do president stuff.  Second, you’ve got to be Princess and the Pea sensitive to political insult to think that saying the word “forward”, especially at the beginning of a gargantuan task like cleaning up after an unprecedented storm, is a campaign move. 

DailyBeastLogo Newsweek Jr., half-assing it on the Halloween photo spread beat:

Breaking - Celebrity Celebrates Halloween

Let Tucker & Friends show you how it’s done . . .

DailyCallerLogo Boom:

Sluts Love Candy and Tucker Carlson It’s a holiday, so none of that “10 great asses” stuff they usually do.  Nope, today they’ve got fifty(!) “sluttiest” costumes, with art!  (And if you think most of the images are just pictures taken from costume advertisements, you would be correct.)  Don’t worry, though, it’s not all for the ladies.  Men anxious about the relative manliness of their hobbies can also be assuaged:

Grrr, My Hobby Is Mainlining Testosterone and Getting Into Fights At the Bus Stop

Manly hobbies “for men”.  What is this, a testicular cancer support group?  Oh, and as a special Halloween treat, a guy dressed like Professor Snape literally took candy from the mouths of babes:

Snape Took Our Every Flavor Beans

May I suggest a better subhead?:

Asshole takes candy from babies, we praise him for it because we’re assholes too.

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