Reading Digest – 23 October 2012   1 comment

“Look, I know there are no car chases, but this is important.  One of these two men will become president of the world.” – Leela
“What do we care?  We live in the United States.” – Fry
“The United States is part of the world.” – Leela
“Wow, I have been gone a long time.” – Fry

CNNlogo Did CNN learn precisely five things from last night’s debate?  You know they did:

5 things we learned in Monday’s debate

At this point I think CNN would have a “5” in their headline if Martians landed on the White House lawn.  They’re so consistent with that number that you’d almost think it was some kind of marketing gimmick rather than an analysis that had actual thought put into it.  This, for example, isn’t exactly penetrating insight:

4. America’s role in the world

My favorite topic of the night: It is a question that allows a candidate to go big in his vision for the future.

Of course, each candidate took the opportunity to use it to talk in political terms, but not before offering these words of hope — Romney: "I absolutely believe that America has a responsibility and the privilege of helping defend freedom and promote the principles that make the world more peaceful." Obama: "America remains the one indispensable nation. And the world needs a strong America."

Enough said. It was a presidential question, appropriate for the final presidential debate.

CNN’s favorite question was the one that’s completely substance free and allows each man to strut around like a peacock without saying anything substantive?  Surprise, surprise, surprise. 

PoliticoLogo Swampgas Daily goes CNN two better and has seven:

Presidential debate 2012: 7 takeaways

It does seem like something of a padded list, however, since the first item is the superlatively bland:

Who won?

There was far from a consensus view on who won the debate in the hours after it ended. Two instant polls gave Obama a clean edge over Romney, but the pundit class was, to quote Obama, all over the map.

So, one of their “takeaways” is that somebody won, but that they’re not sure who and wouldn’t tell you even if they knew. 

FoxNationLogo The nationalists are struggling this morning, this is their big font lead:

Fox Nation’s HOT Twitter Box: Featuring the Smartest, Funniest, Most Shocking and Most Outrageous Presidential Debate Tweets

Worse, it has a picture of Donald Trump on it.  The wingers only go to Trump when all other options have been exhausted. 

Fortunately, their Pic of the Day is, no shit, lifted directly from the pages of Maxim:

Identical-twin beauties, former WWE Divas Brie and Nikki Bella, step out of the ring and into Maxim.

When all else fails, there are always pictures of twins in bikinis. 

DailyBeastLogo Newsweek Jr. covers the important stuff:

Fashion Debate

It takes an admirably warped sense of perspective to describe two women wearing clothing as a “fashion debate”.

WSJLogo Meanwhile, in non debate news, the Journal stumps for its own:

Low Rates Pummel Bank Profits

Superlow U.S. interest rates are squeezing bank profits, complicating the industry’s nascent recovery from the financial crisis.

This is the lead story in their “What’s News” box, that banks (banks!) aren’t recovering fast enough because of “Superlow” interest rates.  Nevermind that the banking industry got unprecedentedly favorable treatment after their own idiocy caused them all to implode, and that those low interest rates are being used to prop up the economy they wrecked in the process.  No, what’s important here is that bank profits are being squeezed.  This is less “Wall Street Journal” and more “Wall Street Dream Journal”. 

Posted October 23, 2012 by Charlie Sweatpants in Futurama, Reading Digest

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  1. Pingback: Reading Digest – 5 November 2012 « The Ann Arbor Review of Books

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