“Say, is there anything I can do to avoid coming back here?” – Bart Simpson
“Oh sure, yeah, but uh, you wouldn’t like it.” – Satan
“Oh, okay. See you later then.” – Bart Simpson
“Goodbye Bart, remember: lie, cheat, steal, and listen to heavy metal music.” – Satan
“Yes, sir.” – Bart Simpson
Atlanta starts the week off on a philosophical bent:
The question is just a little bit rigged since the link leads to dueling editorials written by semi-famous Christian pastors, but it maintains CNN’s policy on fake balance by having each of them advocating a different way.
I understand that people think of the Emmys as news, so there are a lot of stories about who won and lost yesterday. McPaper decided to skip all that and just lead with their review of Jimmy Kimmel:
Awards show hosting: very important.
Newsweek Jr. got its Emmy on by taking the show business buzzword of “buzz” and making it “buzziest”:
I’m usually all for coining new words, but is this a concept that really needs to be deepened?
Okay, it’s the Journal and it’d be more surprising if it weren’t in the tank for the moneylenders than if it is, but this is still pretty shameless:
‘Free’ Checking Costs More Than Ever
So-called free checking accounts are more expensive than ever, as the lumbering U.S. economy and new regulations squeeze bank profits.
Yeah, that’s what’s squeezing bank profits, not charging someone with three hundred dollars in their account ten bucks a month for doing basically nothing.
The Style section is low handing fruit, but this one is right on the homepage at this moment:
Yes, that’s a celebrity couple, and yes the Times still considers itself above that for the most part, which is why they gussied it up with an Emily Post veneer of “the prism of etiquette”. You don’t just get the dish on celebrity sex lives in the Paywalled Lady, you get the dish and the Victorian disappointment all at the same time.
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