Reading Digest – 21 September 2012   Leave a comment

“So, wait a minute, this means I’m gonna be a failure?” – Bart Simpson
“Yes, son, a spectacular failure.” – Homer Simpson
“Enh.” – Bart Simpson

FoxNationLogo This headline is truly worthy of an in the bag partisan outlet on a week in which their guy took several giant steps backward:

Learned Failure

Speaking of failures, the link takes you to two paragraphs by one of nepotism’s more complete failures, Jonah Goldberg, before dumping things off to America’s Shittiest Website.  This being notorious moron Goldberg, the first two paragraphs are more than enough:

Two points: 1) Given how he so often says he wakes up every morning thinking about what he could do to create jobs, it’s interesting that he says his inability to pass comprehensive immigration reform (even when he totally controlled Congress) was his biggest failure. But I suppose that can be written off as simple pandering.

Jonah?  Millions of jobs have been created since he took office, whereas zero immigration reform passed Congress.  A hack with even semi-competent instincts would be able to attack him as having failed twice, once to create enough jobs and once on immigration reform.  But since Goldberg is confused all of the time he just figures the same is true of Obama and everybody else.  Speaking of confused, let’s take a look at sunny point #2:

2) His biggest lesson, meanwhile, is that “you can’t change Washington from the inside.”  Wait a second. In the 2008 primaries, his whole argument with Hillary Clinton was over this exact question. She believed that you can change Washington from the inside and Barack Obama said you couldn’t.

That was his “whole argument with Hillary Clinton”?  Did you even watch those primaries?  I seem to recall an awful lot about tax plans and health care and Iraq, among other topics.  They were both sitting Senators, for fuck’s sake.   

In other FOX Nation news, remember what I said on Monday about their “Pic of the Day” being so focused on boobs that they couldn’t even get the rest of the woman in frame?  They topped themselves today:

Tits of the Day (Part MMXXIX)

According to the caption that’s Salma Hayek and Oliver Stone, though one assumes that, cropped a little wider, it doesn’t look nearly as much like he’s going for second base in front of a flock of reporters.  And what fun is that?

DailyCallerLogo Speaking of cheesecake that appeals to the dick pill and hair plug set:

Subtlety

Yes, that’s Salma Hayek again.  Poor thing.

NPRlogo Big scoop from the pledge drive pinheads:

The Downside Of Tax Havens? Paperwork.

You mean to tell me that complicated financial dealings designed to avoid taxation require lots of convoluted forms written by lawyers and accountants?  I am shocked, shocked I tells ya:

According to Buckley’s colleague, Daniel Gottfried, filling out the right IRS forms is going be time consuming.

"The record keeping estimated burden is 82 hours 45 minutes, " says Gottfried.

And that’s not all, Buckley and Gottfried say learning about the law is expected to take "16 hours and 14 minutes and preparing and sending the form to the IRS is 24 hours and 17 minutes."

Left unsaid, of course, are the twin facts that destroy the “gee whiz, paperwork sure is hard” theme of the story; 1) he has those times down so precisely because those are billable fucking hours.  And 2) the people stashing the money won’t be doing any of that paperwork themselves anyway.  The help does that.  Though, in this case, the help includes whatever NPR tools dreamed up and approved this story. 

Posted September 21, 2012 by Charlie Sweatpants in Commercial Break

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