Reading Digest – 20 September 2012   Leave a comment

“Coming up next, a new fad that’s sweeping the nation: wasting food. . . . But first, let’s join the new Little Miss Springfield, Amber Dempsey, as she helps open the Danish super-chain Shop.” – Scott Christian

CNNlogo Atlanta gets to go first in so many of these because they treat their homepage like a particularly sensationalist news aggregator.  Case in point, this morning. when they’ve got trends:

CNN Sucks (1 of Many)

Way to keep up with the times, fellas.

Fluff:

CNN Sucks (2 of Many)

The “Dog Bites Man” story will be here tomorrow.

And these:

CNN Sucks (3 of Many)

More magazines in countries CNN’s anchors couldn’t find on a map are running photos anyone with Google can already see, some guy, and a kid with a toy truck, fascinating.

And these:

CNN Sucks (4 of Many)

Twitter, people still use that, right?  Ooh, starlet police blotter, that’s always good.

And then finishes with all of these:

CNN Sucks (5 of Many)

A dog video, a contestant on a game show, and a self promotional link.  This is the homepage of one of the world’s most widely known news agencies, and it’s less interesting and informative than Google News was back in 2003.  The closest thing they have to news is this:

Has the Afghan surge been a success?

Which not only has a question make in the headline, but doesn’t do anything but quote Americans about how well things are or aren’t going.  There’s no reporting from Afghanistan, no quotes from an Afghani or even one of our other allies, nothing.  Just a bunch of unexamined platitudes from generals and think tank types.  And they gave it just as much weight as they did to the dog video.  I can’t prove it, but I think CNN may be run by monkeys who were let go by the Atlanta zoo because they weren’t smart enough to not eat their own feces.

usatodaylogo For further proof of just how awful CNN is run, this is the third headline in McPaper:

CNN: Libya ambassador feared al-Qaeda hit list

It’s actually easier to find some of the real news CNN reports on other people’s websites than it is on CNN.com.  

DailyBeastLogo Newsweek Jr. isn’t as awful as CNN, but they do manage to devote a lot of screen real estate to nothing:

Dr. Phil's Office

Mmmm, that’s good TV naval gazing.

DailyCallerLogo Carlson’s house of wingnut welfare leads with bowtie clad race baiting:

The Professor: Obama’s law school course addressed ‘institutional racism in American society 

And why is that news, you may ask?  Because:

The phrase “institutional racism” recalls the work of Derrick Bell, a controversial Harvard Law school professor whom Obama once introduced as a speaker during 1991 “diversity” protests at Harvard Law School, and whose Saturday seminars Obama attended as a law student.

This is Tucker & Friends’ way of claiming that Obama is the real racist, because he once studied and taught about racism and American law.  If that doesn’t make sense to you, don’t be alarmed, that just means you aren’t living in the Red fantasy world where Obama hates white people and, to paraphrase Mittens, life is easier for Latinos.

Posted September 20, 2012 by Charlie Sweatpants in Reading Digest

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