Reading Digest – 12 September 2012   Leave a comment

“’Ello, guvnor, lube job while you wait?” – Buckingham Palace Quick Lube Kid
“Don’t touch me.” – Man on Street

CNNlogo Mmm, empty celebrity chasing:

William, Kate get royal welcome

Here’s the thing, CNN, they actually are royalty, which means that – by definition – every welcome they get is a royal one.  Dumbasses.  

FNLogo This morning we get some old time religion from FOX, where they pack everything that makes them suck into a single story:

White House in Damage Control Over Netanyahu?

We’ve got a question mark in the headline, the story quotes four different Reds (Lindsey Graham, John McCain, John Bolton and a tweet from Rep. Ted Poe) without talking to a single Blue, uses an anonymous quote to back up its contention, and is mostly unvarnished criticism masquerading as news:

Republicans were quick, though, to pounce on the news.

They were, right after you called them.

FoxNationLogo The nationalists are following the lead nicely as well:

Muslims Attack US Embassy, Burn American Flag on 9/11, While Team Obama Apologizes?

Well no, “Team Obama” (whatever that is) didn’t apologize, but that doesn’t mean we can’t insinuate that they/it did.  Don’t worry though, we’ve still got time for other stories as well:

Pool News Daily

Today on FOX Nation: Hot blonde goes swimming (and fuck Obama)!  They do know their audience. 

USATodaylogo This is one of their main news stories (no shit):

‘So You Think You Can Dance’: The final dances

It reads like a press release, which it may very well be:

Will America’s vote echo Nigel’s? Tune in next Tuesday (8 ET/PT, Fox) to find out which two take the crowns.

America’s second largest newspaper, everybody.

Posted September 12, 2012 by Charlie Sweatpants in Reading Digest, The Simpsons

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