Reading Digest – 31 August 2012   Leave a comment

“The politics of failure have failed, we need to make them work again.” – Senator Kang

USATodaylogo This is a great headline:


It’s not linked to a story or anything, it’s merely a teaser for a video, but it’s just fantastic: it delivers no information, is based entirely on what is expected to happen rather than what may or may not actually be happening, and it could’ve been written three weeks ago and no one would know.  Well done, USA Today.

DailyCallerLogo They’ve got a banner headline about Mittens’ moment in the sun, but there’s so much more.  For starters, I love publications that are so poorly thought through that they mutilate their most fun words with asterisks out of some weird, nineteenth century sense of civility:

Asterisks Occupy Says

And a special note for you language fans out there, with “shit” you can apparently be considered polite by just replacing the vowel, but “fuck” is so horrifying to outmoded sensibilities that it requires you to excise a vowel and a consonant.  Good to know.  On another topic, I thought those guys who’d been to every Super Bowl were sad, but this is worse:

Convention Guy

He’s even got a printed, laminated sign, which means, like the Super Bowl guys, he probably wanders around and tries to get people to interview him.  Finally, in non-convention news:

Penetrating (ha!) Football Coverage

You’ve gotta love the subhead “Football is finally here”, as though right wing rags run by upper class twits are staffed by football maniacs who are frothing at the mouth for its return instead of skeevy old men who want an excuse to post pictures of college women in cheerleaders uniforms.  Needless to say, the only place the word “football” appears on the entire page is in connection to this slideshow.  Dumbasses.

WSJLogo And now, a word from Rupert Murdoch:

Romney Promises to ‘Restore’ U.S.


Romney Accepts: ‘Now Is the Time To Restore the Promise of America’

Say what you will about his ability to dump huge amounts of misleading information into the culture, but Murdoch’s holdings do give you a feel for how the wingers are feeling at any given time, and right now they think America needs to be “restored”, whatever that means. 

CNNlogo CNN, on the other hand, is just its usual incoherent self:

Old Man Yells at Chair

That’s their main story, an old actor doing a publicity stunt, not the guy who might be president in four months.  Only CNN could get distracted that easily and then assume the distraction is news because the country’s tiny population of hopeless political junkies are “talking about” it.  

Posted August 31, 2012 by Charlie Sweatpants in Reading Digest, The Simpsons

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