Reading Digest – 24 August 2012   Leave a comment

“Hold on, children, we have to ditch them!” – Chef
“What are you doing, man?” – Eric Cartman
“Looks like them boys are getting a little fresh air.” – Narrator

CNNlogo So very many important stories this morning:

Best places for rich and single – Uh, all of them?

World’s craziest waterslides – And this isn’t even in the top three dumbest stories for today.

Star basketball hopeful attacks ex – Getting closer . . .

She gets 25 wrong number calls a day – Closer . . .

Remember your favorite lunchbox? – Bullseye!:

CNN LunchboxNothing says “Featured” story on the homepage of cnn.com like a Dukes of Hazzard lunchbox from thirty years ago. 

DailyCallerLogo Irony alert:

The Word Is Pussy

What, exactly, is the point of publishing Skeletor Barbie if you’re not going to let the word “pussy” run wild and free?  On an unrelated topic:

Death, Taxes, and Vagina

Only a man who’s been married that many times would automatically associate women with death and taxes.  Somewhere out there, in some dank, sweaty corner of the internet, there is slash fiction about Limbaugh and Coulter.  Sadly, it’s probably more coherent than either of them are in real life.

DailyBeastLogo This is patently untrue:

Wolf Blitzer - The One Sided Man

Wolf Blitzer doesn’t have an “Opinionated Side”.  Blitzer has only a single side, and that’s because he’s a mono-dimensional being sent to Earth to race back and forth between stupid and clueless in an endless cycle for our amusement.

— 

bbclogo1 At least they didn’t get our hopes up by putting the dead hippo story at the bottom:

Hippo Death

nytimeslogo1 This somehow wandered off the pages of the DullWASP Academy newsletter and into the Paywalled Lady:

Op-Ed: Is Private School Not Expensive Enough?

R. Scott Asen, a graduate and former trustee of Groton School, is a private investor.

So, “private investor”, is that what we’re calling do nothing, trust fund malcontents these days?  (And how come richers never use their real first names?)  I can’t help but think that he’s become disgusted at those merely upper-middle-class people polluting his beloved school:

Given the strength of the educational product offered by these prestigious schools, not to mention the prestige itself, I think that for every affluent family scared off by the new policy, there would be another of equivalent means — with an equally desirable child in tow — willing to pay full cost.

Heaven forefend that little Muffy and Thurston might have to go to school with kids whose parents can only afford a three bedroom hovel on Martha’s Vineyard. 

Posted August 24, 2012 by Charlie Sweatpants in Reading Digest, South Park

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